Am I an Orphan Now?

Everyone experiences someone passing away in their lives, and everyone deals with it differently. But, when you lose both parents, are you an orphan?

Here I am in my forties, and yes, that has crossed my mind. I lost my mom in 2005 and just this past year, my dad. When my mom passed, I still had my security blanket: my dad. But, now that he is gone, that security has gone away somewhat.  

My husband has been amazing at being there for me, and I don’t know what I would do without my sister. But, not having a parent just does not feel right, until you say, “Hey, I still have my Heavenly Father.”

In 1 John 3:1, it says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” This lets me know I am really not alone.

Deuteronomy 31:6 confirms this, saying, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake.”

Yes, I know my parents will live through me. I feel them by my side a lot, but it will never be the same. I do know that God is with me and will never leave me, but at the same time, I am kind of mad at Him right now. How can He give me such a precious gift as my parents and then take them away? I wasn’t ready and there wasn’t enough time spent with them. 

I know I will see them again, but I have to ask, “What about now?” What about the empty feeling that just won’t go away? Again, I find hope in God’s Word. I have the promise from Psalms 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

I find myself spending my time in prayer and reminiscing about them. I can’t help but think this is God’s way of comforting me.

I do see the little things and know that they were meant for just me to see, and I smile knowing He is doing this just for me. My heart may ache and I may be a little mad, but I know that God still loves me and will let me work it out in my own time. In the mean time, I can trust that He will show me the little things that will guide me along the way. 

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